Mother’s Day is fast approaching and for many women it is a time for reflection on our own mother as well as the mother we long to be. For those who are trying to conceive (TTC) it can be a tough time of year that is full of reminders and seeing other mothers being celebrated can be hard. It can be tiring ‘pretending’ that everything is ok when inside you may be struggling.
Remember it’s ok if you don’t feel ok. You may find it helps to open up to your loved ones about how you are feeling; tell them the things that you are finding difficult so they know how they could help you. Maybe it’s giving you more space and allowing you to take some time out for yourself. It could even be as simple as managing that pushy Auntie who insists on asking when you are going to have a family every time you speak to her.
At times like this it may help to focus on a bit of self-love. Be kind to yourself, avoid triggers that may upset you and do things that may help you feel better. Here are some ways to help you manage your emotions this Mother’s Day period.
Give yourself a break
You may have told yourself that you’d have good news to share by next Mother’s Day and unfortunately this may not have happened. Remember that everyone’s journey is different and try not to compare your path to others.
Taking some time out can be a great way to recharge your emotional batteries, alongside doing something that keeps you busy and your mind occupied.
A little online retail therapy or a home pamper day could be just the lift you need to help you feel a little bit more positive this Mother’s Day. Take time for yourself and focus on how you would like to spend the day.
Focus on your own mum
If you have a good relationship with your own mum, try to make the day all about her. Do something for her and be thankful for all the things she does for you.
If unfortunately, your mum has passed away, this time can also be difficult, take comfort in the friends and family you have around you and use them as support.
Just say, no thank you
Don’t feel pressured to accept every invitation you receive, virtual or not. It’s ok to say no to some things. If people know what you’re going through, they will understand.
Avoid the media
Social media, TV and even radio are all advertising Mother’s Day, so take a break from the constant reminders. Scrolling through page after page of Insta ready mums cuddling up to their mini-me is definitely something to be avoided. Put on a film or read that book you’ve been meaning to pick up.
Talk to someone
The old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ might feel daunting but opening up to someone close to you can really help you manage your emotions. You may prefer talking to others who are in the same situation as you through online forums or chat rooms. It can be reassuring to know you’re not alone and the way you’re feeling is perfectly normal.
However you choose to spend this Mother’s Day, do it with your own mental wellbeing at the forefront of your mind. Know that you’re not alone, take support from your loved ones and above all else be kind to yourself.
If you are going through IVF or know someone who is, the IVF Positivity Planner could be a great tool to help manage emotions by guiding you through your IVF journey and helping you to remain positive on a day-to-day basis.
We have recently launched our fertility coaching service, a safe and confidential space to discuss any aspects of your fertility journey that is troubling you with our Fertility Coach and Nurse Kate Davies. Kate can help guide you through your fertility journey, supporting you with both the emotional and medical side of fertility.